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Posts Tagged ‘History’

At the western end of the Columbia River Gorge, 30 miles inland from the Pacific Ocean, in a wide valley at the foot of the Cascade Range, the cities of Portland, Oregon, and Vancouver, Washington, face each other across the Columbia River.

On the south bank is Portland, population 588,000. On the north bank is Vancouver, population 162,000.

According to the local joke, the city is Vancouver (not the one in British Columbia), Washington (not the District of Columbia), in Clark County (not the one in Las Vegas), across the river from Portland (not the one in Maine).

To the locals, Vancouver is “the Couve.”

When Europeans first arrived there in 1775, the area was inhabited by an estimated 80,000 Native Americans, mostly of the Chinook and Klickitat nations. By the time the Lewis & Clark expedition camped there in 1805, half the natives were dead from smallpox.

By 1850, smallpox, measles, malaria, and influenza had reduced the native population to a few dozen miserable refugees whose land had been taken by the white settlers who brought the diseases.

But, hey — we Americans prefer to look forward, not backward, right?

Meriwether Lewis wrote that the Vancouver area was “the only desired situation for settlement west of the Rocky Mountains.” High praise from a guy who had reason to know.

The location isn’t perfect. Rain is a frequent thing, and occasionally, an ice storm will shut the city down.

On the other hand, heavy snow is infrequent, and the Columbia River has been neutered and doesn’t flood anymore. And when the clouds go away, you can look up and see Mount Hood, Mount Jefferson, Mount Adams, and Mount Saint Helens, looming above in all their glory.

Today, Vancouver is a bona fide bedroom community of Portland, not only because of the relative sizes of the cities, but also for economic reasons.

In Oregon, the income tax is high, but the state levies no sales tax. In Washington, there is no income tax at all, but the sales tax is 6.5 percent.

Consequently, people shop in Portland to dodge the sales tax, and they live in Vancouver to avoid the income tax.

I got to know a bit about Vancouver in 2010, when I spent two weeks exploring the Pacific Northwest and used Vancouver as my base of operations.

Downtown Vancouver is attractive and pleasant. A long stretch of the riverfront is public space — incredibly, green and undeveloped — and accessible to the water‘s edge. I wandered along the bank for quite a distance in the company of joggers, picnickers, and several kids wading in the water as their moms looked on.

Riverfront

One day, I had possibly the best meal of my life at a hole-in-the-wall Chinese restaurant in downtown Vancouver. It was a divinely flavorful seafood soup.

I have a weakness for Oriental seafood soup, and that soup was as the nectar of the gods. Every spoonful was sublime — an almost religious experience. Even now, the memory of it gives me pangs of delight.

But I digress.

The Couve is a very walkable city. The same day I had that marvelous soup, I wandered for over an hour around Esther Short Park, Vancouver’s main public park and town square, which is about five acres in size.

After the trip, I did some research and learned a few interesting things about the city and the park.

For one, I learned that over the last couple of decades, Vancouver has faced two chronic problems: slow economic decline (everyone shops in Portland) and the presence of homeless people, lots of ’em, in the downtown area.

For another, I learned that the public square in Esther Short Park is the oldest in the state. It is anchored by the Salmon Run Clock and Bell Tower, which features (in addition to the salmon running around the base) a glockenspiel that goes off three times a day and relates a Chinook tribal legend.

Clock tower

The park is named for Esther Short, the founding mother of Vancouver and a colorful and fascinating character. She, her husband Amos, and their children arrived there in 1845 and established a farm near the British Fort Vancouver.

The British army and its corporate ally, the Hudson’s Bay Company, were not pleased with their new neighbors. The British wanted to confine American settlements to the south bank of the river. They wanted Amos and Esther gone.

At one point, while Amos was away, British soldiers rounded up Esther and her children and set them adrift on the Columbia River in an oarless raft.

Esther managed to beach the raft, and no one was hurt. Amos undoubtedly went bonkers when he returned, and, yes, the situation went downhill from there.

According to one version of events, the Shorts were squatters on British land. When the legitimate owner of the property went to California on business, he left his caretaker, David Gardner, in charge.

There was a confrontation. Amos shot and killed Gardner, then promptly went to court and filed a claim on the land in his own name.

A second version is that ownership of the land was unclear. Gardner, an officer of the Hudson’s Bay Company, tore down a fence Amos had built and ordered the Shorts off the land. Shots were exchanged, and Gardner was killed.

Amos, then, was either a murdering claim-jumper, or he acted to defend his home and family. He was, in fact, tried for murder and acquitted.

Not long after the trial, Amos drowned when his ship capsized at the mouth of the Columbia River.

Esther carried on and did quite well. Over time, she opened a restaurant and a couple of hotels. She also donated several strategic pieces of property to the new city of Vancouver.

One piece she donated in 1855 was the land for Esther Short Park. Another was the long strip of undeveloped waterfront.

Esther Short

The unsinkable Esther Short.

Fast-forward to the 1990s. By that time, Esther Short Park was old and shabby and largely populated by street people — the homeless, the mentally ill, hippies, panhandlers, bag ladies, eccentrics, and etcetera.

In 1996, a newspaper article named the park as “the nucleus of the majority of emergency 911 calls in the city.”

One day in 1997, while the mayor of Vancouver was attending an event designed to help make the park a more family-friendly place, he was rammed from behind by a street person pushing a shopping cart.

The angry assailant threatened the mayor and warned him to leave.

That did it. The man was arrested, and public support surged for efforts to take back and clean up the park.

My guess is, the police also began to crack heads and otherwise make the park less appealing to the “undesirables.”

Slowly, things turned around. By 2007, Vancouver and Esther Short Park were winning awards for excellence.

I should mention, however, that the park today is not transient-free.

During my afternoon stroll there in 2010, I noticed several unkempt or colorfully-dressed persons who were not tourists, business types, moms with strollers, or kids playing in the fountains.

In fact, for a solid half hour, one woman pushed her shopping cart slowly back and forth along the sidewalk while shouting at the top of her voice, addressing no one in particular. Profanities and incoherent babble rained down in all directions.

The moms and tourists and business types completely ignored the woman.

I suppose they can afford to be charitable. The park now belongs to them.

Park

Kids

Homeless

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The Questions…

1. Greenland is icy, and Iceland is green. Go figure. Why is Greenland called Greenland?

2. Discovery Channel’s now-canceled TV show Dirty Jobs, featuring the intrepid Mike Rowe, began in November 2003. What was the first dirty job featured on the show?

3. A question related to speed: how fast, in pecks per second, can the average woodpecker peck?

4. Another question related to speed: when a hummingbird hovers, how fast, in flaps per second, can it flap its wings?

5. In 1876, Alexander Graham Bell placed the first telephone call: “Mr. Watson. Come here. I want to see you.” A century later, in 1973, who placed the first call on a cell phone?

The Answers…

1. Eric the Red founded the first Norse settlement in Greenland in 985 AD. Some sources say he chose the name Greenland in hopes that an appealing name would attract settlers. Another possibility: the coastal area where he settled is actually, like, green.

2. Mike’s first dirty job was to harvest bat guano from a cave for use as fertilizer.

3. Up to 20 pecks per second. In case you were wondering, air pockets in the bird’s head cushion and protect its brain.

4. Depending on the species, up to 80 flaps per second. Hummingbirds are pretty amazing. They can hover, fly backwards, and haul tail at speeds of up to 35 mph.

5. In 1973, Martin Cooper, chief of research at Motorola, used the world’s first portable wireless phone to call his rival, Joel Engel of AT&T’s Bell Laboratories, no doubt to gleefully rub it in.

Greenland

Cooper

 

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As a red-blooded American sports fan, you no doubt are familiar with the “Curse of the Bambino.” In 1919, according to legend, the Boston Red Sox brought a curse upon the team by selling Babe Ruth to the New York Yankees. The Red Sox did not win a World Series for the next 86 years.

You probably also know about the “Curse of the Billy Goat” visited upon the Chicago Cubs in 1945. It happened when a local bar owner and his pet goat were booted out of Wrigley Field during game four of the World Series.

“Them Cubs, they ain’t gonna win no more,“ the angry bar owner declared. The Cubs haven’t won so much as a National League pennant since.

Compared to those world-class curses, the “Curse of Billy Penn” in Philadelphia might seem rather bush-league. But it lasted for two decades, and as soon as an atonement of sorts was made, the curse ended.

William NMI Penn (1644-1718) was an English Quaker and real estate speculator who founded the American colony of Pennsylvania. Penn is widely lionized in the Keystone State. Indeed, no state is as closely associated with an individual as is Penn with Pennsylvania.

William Penn founded the city of Philadelphia in 1682, and appropriately, a massive bronze statue of Penn stands atop Philadelphia City Hall. The 37-foot-tall statue, created in 1894 by Alexander Calder, cuts a dashing figure above the city.

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For almost a century, Penn’s statue was the tallest structure in Philadelphia. The city fathers kept it that way, turning down requests for new buildings taller than 548 feet, enabling Penn to preside proudly over the City of Brotherly Love.

In the mid-1980s, however, the city fathers caved. A rich bigshot was allowed to build One Liberty Place, which, at 945 feet, dwarfed the statue of Penn, big-time. William Penn no longer reigned over the city skyline. Worse, bigger and taller skyscrapers soon followed.

By allowing the statue to be thus diminished, so the tale is told, Philadelphia brought upon itself the “Curse of Billy Penn.”

Whether the curse was visited upon the city by the ghost of William Penn or by divine providence, it is said to have prevented the Philadelphia Phillies, Philadelphia Eagles, Philadelphia 76ers, and Philadelphia Flyers from winning a single championship for the next 21 years.

Some say the curse even affected horseracing. In 2006, a Philadelphia-based thoroughbred named Barbaro was favored to win the triple crown — until he fractured a leg during the Preakness, and his career was ended.

The curse came to an end, we are told, thanks to the communications behemoth Comcast.

Headquartered in Philadelphia since 1969, Comcast began construction of the opulent new Comcast Center in 2005. The new headquarters building would become the newest tallest skyscraper in the city.

In June 2007, during the topping-out ceremony, a steel beam was raised on the roof of the 974-foot building.

The dignitaries and construction workers signed the beam, and, in accordance with tradition, an American flag and a small tree were affixed.

Then, two workers stepped forward and attached to the beam a 25-inch-tall statue of William Penn. A whopping twenty-five inches tall.

They did so at the direction of Comcast EVP David Cohen, who had proposed the idea when construction began.

Cohen had intoned for the cameras, “Let’s once again restore Billy Penn to his rightful place and the highest location in Philadelphia.”

You’d think a company with a net worth of $73 billion could do better by William Penn than erecting a toy statue, but that’s what Billy got from Comcast.

Nevertheless, it apparently sufficed.

One year later, the Philadelphia Phillies won the World Series.

Penn’s statue atop City Hall has suffered repeated indignities over the years…

The Philadelphia skyline, showing One Liberty Place (with the red dot), City Hall (center), and the Comcast Center looming at right.

The Philadelphia skyline, showing One Liberty Place (with the red dot), City Hall (center), and the Comcast Center looming at right.

The curse-ending mini-statue of William Penn affixed to the beam on top of the Comcast Center.

The curse-ending mini-statue of William Penn affixed to the beam on top of the Comcast Center.

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The Questions…

1. The Statue of Liberty was dedicated in 1886. What symbolic item lies at Lady Liberty’s feet?

2. Gulliver’s Travels, the acclaimed satire on human nature by Jonathan Swift, has never been out of print since it was published in 1726. Gulliver’s Travels is a shortened form of the actual title. What is the full title?

3. What is the name of Judge Judy’s 148-foot yacht?

4. It’s a fact that the orbit of the Moon is slowly expanding, and the Moon is steadily moving away from the Earth. (It has to do with orbital speed, gravitational pull, tidal bulges, tidal friction, and stuff like that.) How far away from the Earth does the Moon recede each year?

5. What was Tim Burton’s 1996 film Mars Attacks! based upon?

The Answers…

1. A broken chain, representing freedom from oppression and bondage. The designer, French sculptor Frédéric Bartholdi, wanted the chain to be in Lady Liberty’s hand, but decided the symbolism would be too divisive so soon after the Civil War.

2. The full title is Travels into Several Remote Nations of the World, in Four Parts. By Lemuel Gulliver, First a Surgeon, and then a Captain of Several Ships.

3. Her Honor.

4. About 1.5 inches.

5. The movie was based on a series of Topps trading cards released in 1962. Drawn by Mad Magazine artist Wally Wood, the set of 55 trading cards told the story of an invasion of Earth by cruel, hideous Martians. Eventually, legal action over graphic violence, gore, and sexual content forced Topps to halt production of the cards… which, of course, are valuable collectors’ items today.

Chains

Mars

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Gobbledygook

gob·ble·dy·gook — noun \gä-bəl-dē-guk, -gük\ : something written in a pretentious, overly complex manner; pompous language, characterized by circumlocution and jargon; wordy and evasive officialese, usually hard to understand: the gobbledygook of government reports.

Synonyms: double-talk, doublespeak, gibberish, song and dance

Related Words: bureaucratese, computerese, educationese, governmentese, legalese, Pentagonese, psychobabble, technobabble; bombast, grandiloquence, gas, hot air

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During World War II, Texas Congressman Maury Maverick served as chairman of the House Committee on Smaller War Plants. Maury came from a long line of hard-bitten cattle ranchers and by all accounts was a no-nonsense guy.

Maverick

For the record, the term maverick originated with Maury’s grandfather, Samuel Augustus Maverick, who, for his own reasons, chose not to brand his cattle.

In time, all unbranded range cattle became known as mavericks. And eventually, the description was extended to apply to persons of independent thought who chart their own course and tell everyone else to go scratch.

Chairman Maury, being a maverick in every respect, was particularly annoyed when a business executive or a colleague came to the microphone and filled the air with pompous bureaucratic language, much of it unintelligible.

His annoyance gave the frustrating practice a name: gobbledygook.

Maury compared the use of stuffy bureaucratic lingo to the actions of a turkey — “always gobbledy-gobbling and strutting with ludicrous pomposity.”

In short order, the word gobbledygook became part of the national lexicon.

If this were a rational world, casting scorn and ridicule upon the users of gobbledygook might bring an end to it. But no — for reasons only psychologists and psychiatrists understand, gobbledygookery survives and continues unabated today, in government, business, the military, and just about every other circle you can name.

And so does “doublespeak,“ gobbledygook’s bastard stepchild.

Consider these two examples…

High-quality learning environments are a necessary precondition for facilitation and enhancement of the ongoing learning process. (Translation: good schools help students learn.)

To maintain a state of high-level oral wellness, make use at least once a day of a wooden interdental stimulator. (Translation: for a healthy mouth, use a toothpick daily.)

And consider this list of terms, carefully designed  to muddle and obfuscate…

Period of accelerated negative growth — slowdown in business activity
Aerodynamic personnel decelerator — a parachute
Individualized learning station — a desk
Energetic disassembly — something goes kaboom
High-velocity, multi-purpose air circulation device — a fan
Pavement deficiencies — potholes
Byway solidification — paving the potholes
Negative patient-care outcome — when someone dies in a hospital
Combat emplacement evacuator — a shovel
Tactical redeployment — retreat
Comfort station — a toilet
Associate scanning professional — a cashier
Poorly buffered precipitation — acid rain
Non-performing assets — bad loans
Personal appurtenance storage unit — a locker
Preemptive counterattack — an invasion
Service the target — commence firing
Front-leaning rest exercises — push-ups
– Permanent incapacitation — death
Fastening device impact driver — a hammer
Inter-modal interface — A train station, airport, bus stop, or taxi stand
Environmentally destabilized — polluted
Social-expression products — greeting cards
Façade protectant — paint
Vertical interface display — a chalkboard
Vertical insertion — Coast Guard term for boarding a ship by sliding down a rope dangling from a helicopter

All very silly, pretentious, and laughable. But consider terms like the following, which have crossed over from the realm of gobbledygook and, to our eternal discredit, have gone mainstream…

Revenue enhancement — taxes
User fees — taxes
Sub-standard housing — slum-level dwellings not fit to live in
Correctional institutions — prisons
Air support — bombing raids
Collateral damage — dead civilians and blown-up buildings
Enhanced interrogation — torture
Extraordinary rendition — kidnapping
Ethnic cleansing — Getting rid of people you don’t like by violent means, including mass murder

Shame on anyone for using them.

Permit me to end on a lighter note. If you want to take gobbledygook to greater and more absurd heights, check out the gobbledygook generator on the website of the Plain English Campaign.

Maury Maverick would approve.

Bilingual

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We must respect the other fellow’s religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

– H. L. Mencken

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Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956), the once-popular journalist, essayist, critic, satirist, and gadfly, faded from the national memory more than half a century ago. These days, only the libertarian crowd celebrates him; Mencken, you see, was a major influence on Ayn Rand and is thus revered by her ding-a-ling faithful.

Whereas Rand merely was off her medication, and had a heart two sizes too small, Mencken was gleefully controversial. He delighted in raising eyebrows and was skilled in that regard to a remarkable degree.

Often called “the Sage of Baltimore,” he was one of the most influential pontificators and public scolds of his time.

From his perch as a newspaper columnist, first at the Baltimore Herald and later at the Baltimore Sun, he used wit and sarcasm to skewer a host of targets — politicians, popular culture, religion, the temperance movement, bigotry, creationism, and “experts” of every sort, including chiropractors and economists.

Mencken was a tireless champion of science and a scholar of American English. In 1919, he wrote “The American Language,” a best-selling study of the variations of English spoken around the country.

And, during the 1925 trial of Tennessee high school teacher John Scopes for teaching evolution, it was Mencken who dubbed the proceedings the “Monkey Trial.”

Reading Mencken is an adventure — a workout — regardless of the point he is making. In fact, I can take him only in small doses.

Accordingly, I present herewith a small dose of H. L. Mencken, consisting of excerpts from his 1918 book, “In Defense of Women.”

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A man’s women folk, whatever their outward show of respect for his merit and authority, always regard him secretly as an ass, and with something akin to pity.

His most gaudy sayings and doings seldom deceive them; they see the actual man within, and know him for a shallow and pathetic fellow. In this fact, perhaps, lies one of the best proofs of feminine intelligence, or, as the common phrase makes it, feminine intuition.

The mark of that so-called intuition is simply a sharp and accurate perception of reality, an habitual immunity to emotional enchantment, a relentless capacity for distinguishing clearly between the appearance and the substance.

The appearance, in the normal family circle, is a hero, a magnifico, a demigod. The substance is a poor mountebank.

————

This shrewd perception of masculine bombast and make-believe, this acute
understanding of man as the eternal tragic comedian, is at the bottom of that compassionate irony which passes under the name of the maternal instinct. A woman wishes to mother a man simply because she sees into his helplessness, his need of an amiable environment, his touching self-delusion.

That ironical note is not only daily apparent in real life; it sets the whole tone of feminine fiction. The woman novelist, if she be skilful enough to arise out of mere imitation into genuine self-expression, never takes her heroes quite seriously.

From the day of George Sand to the day of Selma Lagerlöf she has always got into her character study a touch of superior aloofness, of ill concealed derision. I can’t recall a single masculine figure created by a woman who is not, at bottom, a booby.

————

A man thinks that he is more intelligent than his wife because he can add up a  column of figures more accurately, and because he understands the imbecile jargon of the stock market, and because he is able to distinguish between the ideas of rival politicians, and because he is privy to the minutiae of some sordid and degrading business or profession, say soap-selling or the law. But these empty talents, of course, are not really signs of a profound intelligence; they are, in fact, merely superficial accomplishments, and their acquirement puts little more strain on the mental powers than a chimpanzee suffers in learning how to catch a penny or scratch a match.

The whole bag of tricks of the average business man, or even of the average professional man, is inordinately childish. It takes no more actual sagacity to carry on the everyday hawking and haggling of the world, or to ladle out its normal doses of bad medicine and worse law, than it takes to operate a taxicab or fry a pan of fish.

No observant person, indeed, can come into close contact with the general run of business and professional men — I confine myself to those who seem to get on in the world, and exclude the admitted failures – without marveling at their intellectual lethargy, their incurable ingenuousness, their appalling lack of ordinary sense.

The late Charles Francis Adams, a grandson of one American President and a greatgrandson of another, after a long lifetime in intimate association with some of the chief business “geniuses” of that paradise of traders and usurers, the United States, reported in his old age that he had never heard a single one of them say anything worth hearing.

These were vigorous and masculine men, and in a man’s world they were successful men, but intellectually they were all blank cartridges.

————

Intuition? With all respect, bosh!

All this intuition of which so much transcendental rubbish is merchanted is no more and no less than intelligence — intelligence so keen that it can penetrate to the hidden truth through the most formidable wrappings of false semblance and demeanour, and so little corrupted by sentimental prudery that it is equal to the even more difficult task of hauling that truth out into the light, in all its naked hideousness.

Women decide the larger questions of life correctly and quickly, not because they are lucky guessers, not because they are divinely inspired, not because they practise a magic inherited from savagery, but simply and solely because they have sense.

They see at a glance what most men could not see with searchlights and telescopes; they are at grips with the essentials of a problem before men have finished debating its mere externals. They are the supreme realists of the race.

Apparently illogical, they are the possessors of a rare and subtle super-logic. Apparently whimsical, they hang to the truth with a tenacity which carries them through every phase of its incessant, jelly-like shifting of form. Apparently unobservant and easily deceived, they see with bright and horrible eyes…

In men, too, the same merciless perspicacity sometimes shows itself — men recognized to be more aloof and uninflammable than the general — men of special talent for the logical — sardonic men, cynics. Men, too, sometimes have brains.

But that is a rare, rare man, I venture, who is as steadily intelligent, as constantly sound in judgment, as little put off by appearances, as the average woman of forty-eight.

Mencken

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The Questions…

1. In 1861, the first U.S. paper currency (promptly nicknamed “greenbacks”) went into general circulation. How was the currency of 1861 different from that issued in 1862 and every year since?

2. What American city has more bridges than any other burg in the world?

3. Loch Ness, the lake in the Scottish Highlands, has two claims to fame. One, of course, is the purported monster. What is the other?

4. What animals are the most common sports mascots of U.S. colleges and universities?

5. Between 1956 and 1969, Elvis Presley made 31 cringeworthy films. (Elvis movies were widely panned as bland and formulaic. One critic called them “a pantheon of bad taste.” Elvis, who wanted to become a serious actor, blamed his fading career on his hum-drum films.) Which of the 31 movies featured Elvis in a non-singing role, sporting a beard?

The Answers…

1. In 1861, every individual bill — every single one — was hand-signed by a Treasury Department clerk. Starting in 1862, no doubt after serious input from the clerks, the signatures on the bills were engraved into the printing plates.

2. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, with 446 bridges.

3. Loch Ness, 23 miles long and up to 750 feet deep, contains more fresh water than all the other lakes in England and Wales combined.

4. The eagle is first, the tiger second, the bulldog third.

5. The 1969 western Charro! was the only film in which Elvis had a beard and did not sing on-screen.

1861 note

Charro

 

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Canyon de Chelly

Canyon de Chelly, located in the northeast corner of Arizona, has been an important part of Navajo culture since the Navajo — the Diné, the People — arrived in the region some 500 years ago.

Canyon de Chelly (pronounced de shay), is 26 miles of sandstone canyon, in some places a thousand feet deep, where for generations, Navajo families have lived, farmed, traded, and retreated for protection from their enemies.

Various civilizations have lived in Canyon de Chelly for 5,000 years. Over 700 ruins, cliff dwellings, and petroglyph sites have been identified.

In 1931, the canyon was set aside as a National Monument in order to protect the fragile sites within it. Legally, it is owned by the Navajo, and about 40 Navajo families live in the canyon. Access to the canyon is restricted, and visitors are allowed to travel in the canyon only when accompanied by a park ranger or an authorized Navajo guide.

Technically, the Monument consists of two canyons. The southern arm is Canyon de Chelly — de Chelly being a corruption of the Navajo word tsegi, which means “rock canyon.” The northern branch is Canyon del Muerto, Spanish for “Canyon of the Dead.”

Physically, the canyon is wide and open, with a sandy floor that changes with every rainfall. Even though the canyon is subject to flooding, and the flood waters can be catastrophic, large sections of the valley floor are safe for fields and structures.

I went to Canyon de Chelly for the first time about 10 years ago. Back then, the Navajo-owned Thunderbird Lodge ran tours of the canyon. They seated the tourists is the backs of large trucks — open in the summer, enclosed in Plexiglas in the winter.

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So, when I scheduled a return visit to the canyon in January 2013, I expected to sign up for a truck tour. I was ready for an interesting half day of laborious lumbering and bouncing through the water and the sand, with plenty of stops for photography.

When I arrived, however, I learned that the truck tours are history. There was an incident — a fatal incident in which a vehicle overturned and killed a couple of prominent geologists — and the trucks were retired.

But the demise of the truck tours simply opened up the market for other local outfitters. The young Navajo park ranger at the front desk handed me a sheet listing about half a dozen companies that conduct canyon tours in four-wheel drive, high-clearance vehicles.

“I can’t recommend one over another,” she said. “They’re all local residents, certified and authorized. Just call one and make a deal. They’ll meet you at the visitor center, and off you go.”

After a quick lunch, I called one of the numbers at random. Half an hour later, I stood in the parking lot shaking hands with Dave Wilson, a veteran Navajo guide driving an equally veteran Mercury Montero.

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Dave said his family is one of the 40 still living and working in the canyon. He told me he was born in Canyon del Muerto and has farmland and horses there.

All true. When I got back to Georgia, I couldn’t resist Googling Dave Wilson, and there he was. He is one of Canyon de Chelly’s original certified guides and founder of the Tsegi Guide Association. He also conducts tours for the Museum of Northern Arizona in Flagstaff.

His online bio says he was born in Canyon del Muerto, where his ancestors settled after returning from the Long Walk of 1864.

(I will address that sorry episode, in which the Navajos were deported from their tribal land at gunpoint and forced to march to Eastern New Mexico, sometime soon.)

“Up there, that’s First Ruin,” Dave told me as we started into the canyon, pointing to a small ruin in a natural alcove. “It’s called First Ruin because it’s the first ruin you see when you enter the canyon. It’s an Anasazi ruin — Ancestral Puebloan people.”

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Dave was the stoic sort, as most Navajo are, but he delivered jokes and one-liners with relish. I resolved to be a good straight man. It was the polite thing to do.

When we passed a hogan, a traditional eight-sided Navajo structure, Dave said, “Did you ever wonder why Navajo men build the hogans round?”

“Why is that?” I asked dutifully.

“So their wives can’t pin them in a corner.”

For the next couple of hours, we swerved and bounced through Canyon de Chelly and Canyon del Muerto, stopping often at petroglyph sites and cliff dwellings. Dave pointed out the key features and the relative ages of everything.

“Up there is a mix of old and new petroglyphs,” he explained at one point. “The geometric patterns are Anasazi, going back to about 300 AD. The rest are more recent.

“Whenever you see a horse petroglyph, it was done after the 1700s. Weren’t any horses here until the Spanish came.”

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I said I had noticed a horse drawing that was in full color and had a more modern look.

“Yeah, one of my neighbors probably did that one last night.”

We passed beneath a large rock cliff that jutted above the roadway precipitously.

“We call this Martini Rock,” Dave said.

I asked why.

“Because of the tremendous hangover.”

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“See that stick?” he added, “Over there under the rock?” I did.

“We’re all afraid to remove it.”

During the drive, Dave stopped to identify Cat Rock.

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And Alfred Hitchcock Rock.

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And the dead duck.

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We stopped to see ruins large and small. Several times, he dropped me off to wander around and take pictures while he waited in the car with the seat reclined, resting his eyes.

At one point, several miles into Canyon del Muerto, he pointed ahead. “Up there — that’s my son and my daughter-in-law,” he said. He stopped the Montero next to a young couple stacking firewood into the bed of an old pickup and got out.

The three of them chatted for a minute, then Dave got back behind the wheel. “They’re gathering firewood for my sister,” he told me. “She’s 80. Lives alone up on the rim.”

Around the next bend, Dave brought the Montero to a halt again. He pointed toward a cliff dwelling halfway up the canyon wall.

“That ruin up there is called Dead Cow Ruin,” he said.

I studied the wall around the ruin, looking for a petroglyph, perhaps of a cow, lying down. Nothing.

“Dead Cow Ruin?” I repeated. Dave nodded.

Then I spotted the telltale hump of an actual dead cow, sprawled in the undergrowth below the ruin.

“My God!” I exclaimed. “How long has that poor cow been there?”

“Couple of days. They’ll probably dig a hole and bury it today or tomorrow. Good thing it’s winter.”

“Too bad about the cow,” he said. “But, we all gotta go sometime.”

The time had come to turn around and head home. As we bounced down-canyon, I looked out at cliff dwellings that Dave had identified a short time earlier, but whose names (with the exception of Dead Cow Ruin) were quickly escaping me.

Several minutes later, he gestured up through the windshield again.

“Up there, that’s Last Ruin,” he said. “We call it Last Ruin because it’s the last one you see when you leave the canyon.”

“Wait a minute,” I said. “I thought you said that was First –”

Doh!  

Dave should have paid me that day.

When we reached the mouth of the canyon and emerged onto the pavement again, I noticed the office of one of Dave’s competitors, Changing Woman Tours.

I pointed to the place and said, “I almost called her this morning. I’ve heard the name Changing Woman before. She’s someone important in Diné culture, isn’t she?”

“Changing Woman gave birth to the Diné,” he explained. “She brought us into the world. She symbolizes the power of women, and the earth, to create and sustain life. She is called Changing Woman because her youth is renewed as the seasons progress.”

“But,” he continued, “That isn’t why the lady who runs the tours uses the name Changing Woman.”

I took the bait. Why does she use that name?

“She just got divorced.”

The dramatic wall of desert varnish above White House Ruin.

The dramatic wall of desert varnish above White House Ruin.

The slender double spire of Spider Rock, 800 feet tall, is the home of Spider Woman, who taught the Diné the art of weaving.

The slender double spire of Spider Rock, 800 feet tall, is the home of Spider Woman, who taught the Diné the art of weaving.

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Shortly after I wrote a post last month about author Edward Abbey, I went on vacation for two weeks to the Desert Southwest — Abbey Country.

Thus, it seemed appropriate to take along a copy of Abbey’s rambling masterpiece “Desert Solitaire” to read on the airplane. I hadn’t read the book in at least a dozen years. I was overdue.

As always, “Desert Solitaire” was delightful and enlightening. And, on this trip, half of which I spent in the Navajo Nation, I was especially struck by Abbey’s chapter on the plight of the Navajo in modern times.

The picture he painted in 1968 was sad, depressing, and dishearteningly accurate. 45 years later, nothing much has changed. Prepare to be bummed out.

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Today, outside the canyon country and particularly in Arizona and New Mexico, the Indians are making a great numerical comeback, outbreeding the white man by a ratio of three to two. The population of the Navajo tribe to take the most startling example has increased from approximately 9500 in 1865 to about 90,000 a century later — a multiplication almost tenfold in only three generations.

The increase is the indirect result of the white man’s medical science as introduced on the Navajo reservation, which greatly reduced the infant mortality rate and thereby made possible such formidable fecundity. This happened despite the fact that infant mortality rates among the Indians are still much higher than among the American population as a whole.

Are the Navajos grateful? They are not. To be poor is bad enough; to be poor and multiplying is worse.

In the case of the Navajo the effects of uncontrolled population growth are vividly apparent. The population, though ten times greater than a century ago, must still exist on a reservation no bigger now than it was then. In a pastoral economy based on sheep, goats and horses the inevitable result, as any child could have foreseen, was severe overgrazing and the transformation of the range — poor enough to start with — from a semiarid grassland to an eroded waste of blowsand and nettles.

In other words the land available to the Navajos not only failed to expand in proportion to their growing numbers; it has actually diminished in productive capacity.

In order to survive, more and more of the Navajos, or The People as they used to call themselves, are forced off the reservation and into rural slums along the major highways and into the urban slums of the white man’s towns which surround the reservation. Here we find them today doing the best they can as laborers, gas station attendants, motel maids and dependents of the public welfare system.

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They are the Negroes of the Southwest — red black men. Like their cousins in the big cities they turn for solace, quite naturally, to alcohol and drugs; the peyote cult in particular grows in popularity under the name of The Native American Church.

Unequipped to hold their own in the ferociously competitive world of White America, in which even the language is foreign to them, the Navajos sink ever deeper into the culture of poverty, exhibiting all of the usual and well-known symptoms: squalor, unemployment or irregular and ill-paid employment, broken families, disease, prostitution, crime, alcoholism, lack of education, too many children, apathy and demoralization, and various forms of mental illness, including evangelical Protestantism.

Whether in the favelas of Rio de Janeiro, the barrios of Caracas, the ghettos of Newark, the mining towns of West Virginia or the tarpaper villages of Gallup, Flagstaff and Shiprock, it’s the same the world over — one big wretched family sequestered in sullen desperation, pawed over by social workers, kicked around by the cops and prayed over by the missionaries.

There are interesting differences, of course, both in kind and degree between the plight of the Navajo Indians and that of their brothers-in-poverty around the world. For one thing the Navajos have the B.I.A. looking after them — the Bureau of Indian Affairs. The B.I.A. like everything else is a mixture of good and bad, with policies that change and budgets that fluctuate with every power shift in Washington, but its general aim over the long run has been to change Indians into white men, a process called “assimilation.”

In pursuit of this end the little Indians are herded into schools on and off the reservation where, under the tutelage of teachers recruited by the B.I.A. from Negro colleges deep in the Bible Belt, the Navajo children learn to speak American with a Southern accent. The B.I.A., together with medical missions set up by various churches, also supplies the Navajos with basic medical services, inadequate by national standards but sufficient nevertheless to encourage the extravagant population growth which is the chief cause, though not the only cause, of the Navajos’ troubles.

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A second important difference in the situation of the Navajo Indians from that of others sunk in poverty is that the Navajos still have a home of their own — the reservation, collective property of the tribe as a whole. The land is worn out, barren, eroded, hopelessly unsuited to support a heavy human population but even so, however poor in economic terms, it provides the Navajo people with a firm base on earth, the possibility of a better future and for the individual Navajo in exile a place where, when he has to go back there, they have to take him in. Where they would not think of doing otherwise.

Poor as the land is it still attracts the avarice of certain whites in neighboring areas who can see in it the opportunity for profit if only the present occupants are removed. Since the land belongs to the tribe no individual within the tribe is legally empowered to sell any portion of it. Periodic attempts are made, therefore, by false friends of the Navajos, to have the reservation broken up under the guise of granting the Indians “property rights” so that they will be “free” to sell their only tangible possession — the land — to outsiders.

So far the tribe has been wise enough to resist this pressure and so long as it continues to do so The People will never be completely separated from their homeland.

Retaining ownership of their land, the Navajos have been able to take maximum advantage through their fairly coherent and democratic tribal organization of the modest mineral resources which have been found within the reservation. The royalties from the sale of oil, uranium, coal and natural gas, while hardly enough to relieve the Indians’ general poverty, have enabled them to develop a tribal timber business, to provide a few college scholarships for the brainiest (not necessarily the best) of their young people, to build community centers and finance an annual tribal fair (a source of much enjoyment to The People), and to drill a useful number of water wells for the benefit of the old sheep and goat raising families still hanging on in the backlands.

The money is also used to support the small middle class of officials and functionaries which tribal organization has created, and to pay the costs of a tribal police force complete with uniforms, guns, patrol cars and two-way radios. These unnecessary evils reflect the influence of the Bureau of Indian Affairs and the desire on the part of the more ambitious Navajos to imitate as closely as they can the pattern of the white man’s culture which surrounds them, a typical and understandable reaction.

Despite such minor failures the Navajos as a tribe have made good use of what little monetary income they have. It is not entirely their fault if the need remains far greater than tribal resources can satisfy.

Meanwhile the tribal population continues to grow in geometric progression: 2… 4… 8… 16… 32… 64, etc., onward and upward, as the majority of The People settle more deeply into the second-class way of life, American style, to which they are fairly accustomed, with all of its advantages and disadvantages: the visiting caseworker from the welfare department, the relief check, the derelict automobiles upside down on the front yard, the tarpaper shack next to the hogan and ramada, the repossessed TV set, the confused adolescents, and the wine bottles in the kitchen midden.

Various solutions are proposed: industrialization; tourism; massive federal aid; better education for the Navajo children; relocation; birth control; child subsidies; guaranteed annual income; four lane highways; moral rearmament. None of these proposals are entirely devoid of merit and at least one of them — birth control — is obviously essential though not in itself sufficient if poverty is to be alleviated among the Navajo Indians.

As for the remainder, they are simply the usual banal, unimaginative if well-intentioned proposals made everywhere, over and over again, in reply to the demand for a solution to the national and international miseries of mankind. As such they fail to take into account what is unique and valuable in the Navajo’s traditional way of life and ignore altogether the possibility that the Navajo may have as much to teach the white man as the white man has to teach the Navajo.

Industrialization, for example. Even if the reservation could attract and sustain large-scale industry heavy or light, which it cannot, what have the Navajos to gain by becoming factory hands, lab technicians and office clerks? The Navajos are people, not personnel; nothing in their nature or tradition has prepared them to adapt to the regimentation of application forms and time clock.

To force them into the machine would require a Procrustean mutilation of their basic humanity. Consciously or unconsciously the typical Navajo senses this unfortunate truth, resists the compulsory miseducation offered by the Bureau, hangs on to his malnourished horses and cannibalized automobiles, works when he feels like it and quits when he has enough money for a party or the down payment on a new pickup.

He fulfills other obligations by getting his wife and kids installed securely on the public welfare rolls. Are we to condemn him for this? Caught in a no-man’s-land between two worlds the Navajo takes what advantage he can of the white man’s system — the radio, the pickup truck, the welfare — while clinging to the liberty and dignity of his old way of life.

Such a man would rather lie drunk in the gutters of Gallup, New Mexico, a disgrace to his tribe and his race, than button on a clean white shirt and spend the best part of his life inside an air-conditioned office building with windows that cannot be opened.

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Even if he wanted to join the American middle class (and some Indians do wish to join and have done so) the average Navajo suffers from a handicap more severe than skin color, the language barrier or insufficient education: his acquisitive instinct is poorly developed. He lacks the drive to get ahead of his fellows or to figure out ways and means of profiting from other people’s labor.

Coming from a tradition which honors sharing and mutual aid above private interest, the Navajo thinks it somehow immoral for one man to prosper while his neighbors go without.

If a member of the tribe does break from this pattern, through luck, talent or special training, and finds a niche in the affluent society, he can also expect to find his family and clansmen camping on his patio, hunting in his kitchen, borrowing his car and occupying his bedrooms at any hour of the day or night. Among these people a liberal hospitality is taken for granted and selfishness regarded with horror. Shackled by such primitive attitudes, is it any wonder that the Navajos have not yet been able to get in step with the rest of us?

If industrialism per se seems an unlikely answer to the problems of the Navajo (and most of the other tribes) there still remains industrial tourism to be considered. This looks a little more promising, and with the construction of new highways, motels and gas stations the tribe has taken steps to lure tourists into the reservation and relieve them of their dollars. The chief beneficiaries will be the oil and automotive combines far away, but part of the take will remain on the reservation in the form of wages paid to those who change the sheets, do the laundry, pump the gas, serve the meals, wash the dishes, clean the washrooms and pump out the septic tanks — simple tasks for which the Navajos are available and qualified.

How much the tourist industry can add to the tribal economy, how many Indians it may eventually employ, are questions not answerable at this time. At best it provides only seasonal work and this on a marginal scale — ask any chambermaid. And whether good or bad in strictly pecuniary terms, industrial tourism exacts a spiritual price from those dependent upon it for their livelihood.

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The natives must learn to accustom themselves to the spectacle of hordes of wealthy, outlandishly dressed strangers invading their land and their homes. They must learn the automatic smile. They must expect to be gaped at and photographed. They must learn to be quaint, picturesque and photogenic. They must learn that courtesy and hospitality are not simply the customs of any decent society but are rather a special kind of commodity which can be peddled for money.

I am not sure that the Navajos can learn these things. For example, the last time I was in Kayenta I witnessed the following incident:

One of the old men, one of the old Longhairs with a Mongolian mustache and tall black hat, is standing in the dust and sunlight in front of the Holiday Inn, talking with two of his wives. A big car rolls up — a Buick Behemoth I believe it was, or it may have been a Cadillac Crocodile, a Dodge Dinosaur or a Mercury Mastodon, I’m not sure which — and this lady climbs out of it. She’s wearing golden stretch pants, green eyelids and a hiveshaped head of hair that looks both in color and texture exactly like 25¢ worth of candy cotton. She has a camera in her hands and is aiming it straight at the old Navajo.

“Hey!” she says. “Look this way.” He looks, sees the woman, spits softly on the ground and turns his back. Naturally offended, the lady departs without buying even a postcard.

But he was an old one. The young are more adaptable and under the pressure to survive may learn to turn tricks for the tourist trade. That, and a few coal mines here and there, and jobs away from the reservation, and more welfare, will enable the Navajos to carry on through the near future. In the long run their economic difficulties can only be solved when and if our society as a whole is willing to make an honest effort to eliminate poverty.

By honest effort, as opposed to the current dishonest effort with its emphasis on phony social services which benefit no one but the professional social workers, I mean a direct confrontation with the two actual basic causes of poverty: (1) too many children and — (here I reveal the secret, the elusive and mysterious key to the whole problem) — (2) too little money. Though simple in formula, the solution will seem drastic and painful in practice.

To solve the first part of the problem we may soon have to make birth control compulsory; to solve the second part we will have to borrow from Navajo tradition and begin a more equitable sharing of national income. Politically unpalatable? No doubt. Social justice in this country means social surgery — carving some of the fat off the wide bottom of the American middle class.

Navajo poverty can be cured and in one way or the other — through justice or war — it will be cured. It is doubtful, however, that the Navajo way of life, as distinguished from Navajos, can survive. Outnumbered, surrounded and overwhelmed, the Navajos will probably be forced in self-defense to malform themselves into the shape required by industrial econometrics. Red-skinned black men at present, they must learn to become dark-brown white men with credit cards and crew-cut sensibilities.

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It will not be easy. It will not be easy for the Navajos to forget that once upon a time, only a generation ago, they were horsemen, nomads, keepers of flocks, painters in sand, weavers of wool, artists in silver, dancers, singers of the Yei-bei-chei. But they will have to forget, or at least learn to be ashamed of these old things and to bring them out only for the amusement of tourists.

A difficult transitional period. Tough on people. For instance, consider an unfortunate accident which took place only a week ago here in the Arches country. Parallel to the highway north of Moab is a railway, a spur line to the potash mines. At one point close to the road this railway cuts through a hill. The cut is about three hundred feet deep, blasted through solid rock with sides that are as perpendicular as the walls of a building.

One afternoon two young Indians — Navajos? Apaches? beardless Utes? — in an old perverted Plymouth came hurtling down the highway, veered suddenly to the right, whizzed through a fence and plunged straight down like helldivers into the Big Cut.

Investigating the wreckage we found only the broken bodies, the broken bottles, the stain and smell of Tokay, and a couple of cardboard suitcases exploded open and revealing their former owners’ worldly goods — dirty socks, some underwear, a copy of True West magazine, a comb, three new cowboy shirts from J.C. Penney’s, a carton of Marlboro cigarettes.

But nowhere did we see any eagle feathers, any conchos of silver, any buffalo robes, any bows, arrows, medicine pouch or drums.

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Actor Charles Durning died last month. Durning was a well-known character actor in Hollywood and on Broadway whose career lasted 50 years.

Durning had plenty of memorable acting roles, but when I think of him, his service in World War II comes first to mind.

In 1944, 21-year-old Private Charles Durning was in the first wave of soldiers to land on Omaha Beach during the invasion of Normandy.

He was the only man in his unit to survive a machine-gun ambush. Although seriously wounded by machine gun fire and shrapnel, Durning survived and killed seven enemy soldiers.

After several months of medical care, Durning returned to the fighting in Belgium, where he faced a bayonet-wielding German soldier in hand-to-hand combat. Although badly wounded, he overpowered and killed the German.

Durning was released from the hospital just in time to fight in the Battle of the Bulge, where he was taken prisoner. He was one of only three Americans who escaped during the infamous Malmedy Massacre, in which 80 POWs were executed by German soldiers.

Several months later, he was wounded in the chest and was sent back to the United States. He was discharged from the Army in 1946, one month before his 23rd birthday.

For his service, Durning was awarded the Silver Star for gallantry in action and three Purple Hearts for his wounds.

Like many men of his generation, my father among them, Durning preferred not to talk about his war experiences. He told an interviewer in 1997, “Too many bad memories. I don’t want you to see me crying.”

But later in life, he began to open up. In an 2008 interview, he talked about the bayonet incident.

“I was crossing a field somewhere in Belgium,” he said. “A German soldier ran toward me carrying a bayonet. He couldn’t have been more than 14 or 15. I didn’t see a soldier. I saw a boy. Even though he was coming at me, I couldn’t shoot.”

As the two of them grappled, Durning was bayoneted eight times. Finally, using a rock, he struck and killed the young soldier.

Durning said that for a long time afterward, he sat on the ground, held the soldier in his arms, and wept.

In 1994, Durning said, “There is no nobility in war. If you really knew what it was like for an hour, you wouldn’t want anyone to go through it.

“They train you to do awful things, then they release you and wonder why you are so bitter and angry. The physical injuries heal first. It’s your mind that’s hard to heal.”

Durning said the memories of war never left him, but acting gave him a safety valve. He said performing allowed him to become someone else, however briefly.

“I forget a lot of stuff now,” he said. “But I still wake up once in a while, and it’s still there. I can’t count how many of my buddies are in the cemetery at Normandy.”

“There are many secrets in us, in the depths of our souls, that we don’t want anyone to know about,” he said. “There is terror and repulsion in us — the terrible spot that we don’t talk about. That place that no one knows about — horrifying things we keep secret.”

Since 2005, as the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan intensified, the suicide rate among American soldiers has risen sharply. Last year, more American troops committed suicide than were killed in battle.

By the grace of God, I was not sent into combat during my time in uniform. Others were not so fortunate. What horrors they endured, and continue to endure, I can’t begin to understand.

Charles Durning, may he rest in peace, could.

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